The New White Go Out To Dinner

I stopped going out for dinner a long time ago. I dated a waitress and I also worked in a couple of restaurants, it totally sucked. Still, in my younger days my friends and I would go out and eat at nice restaurants. The last time I went out was down in Camarillo, CA, at a jumping place that issued beepers to waiting diners (I'd never seen that before and I thought it was clever). We got in and seated. We ordered our food (which was great), and we paid our tab with nice tip. No biggie. Since returning to school I have met a few young people who work in some on the finest restaurants on the Monterey Peninsula, and they tell me horror stories about the people who now patronize these places.

These are very expensive restaurants which weeds out all but the whitest and wealthiest folks.

Allow me to set this up. When I was a child I was taught basic etiquette for the dinner table, no elbows, chew your food, speak in a low-tone, don't talk with food in your mouth and the mysteries of the salad-fork. Then around the age of six we went out to a nice restaurant, and it was a huge deal for me. We had to put on our church suits, comb our hair and wear dress shoes. Before we entered we got a final brief from grandma and our mother, the short version was that if we goofed of or got stupid we would get the spanking to end all spankings. We understood and behaved ourselves. I don't remember much except that the place was really nice and the food was good. I also made a mental note not to put myself in a situation where I would eat at such places; just because I was not comfortable , and this has not changed for me as I have grown older. Still, it was good practice as I would be invited out to nice restaurant by the wealthy parents of my good friends, and I found that my good manners went a long way with them. They were often surprised and they would make a point of telling my mother this when they'd drop me off at the end of whatever event had taken us out. The final event of my early life involved catering at fine private dinner parties (this is fun, if you get a chance to do this it's a great way to make extra cash). I learned to be invisible and courteous. I got to watch sophisticated people in a semi-formal setting, and I learned that all of those manners paid off in many ways.

Flash-forward to 2009. At some of the finest restaurants you can have you meal ruined by some jackass on his cell phone, or conversations about regularity. Don't take my word for it, here's a piece from the SF Chronicle:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/04/09/DDFT16SDJ3.DTL&hw=bad+manners+in+restaurants&sn=001&sc=1000


For my small fan club, read the article AND the reader comments, many defending their actions. Then read this little advice piece from their restaurant critic on diner who hog tables:

news:www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/mbauer/category?blogid=26&cat=1394

These restaurants are small, maybe 11 or 12 tables and these people make themselves at home.

And again, read the responses:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/mbauer/legacycomments?blogid=26&entry_id=20558

Look at the lead off response, I will quote it for you:

I disagree with your basic premise, and therefore all of your conclusions. I'm 180 degrees out with you on this. I go and eat and enjoy and stay because I want to be there, I want to eat their food, enjoy the atmosphere, and not grab a bite and run.I rent their table to eat their food. They create the atmosphere and food to attract my money and if I'm "someone" add to their appeal to others.I will take my time. It's my time. It's mine to use as I enjoy.It's also somewhat of a competition. If several of us want to enjoy the same situation, we compete. If I get there first, have time and money, you lose. Sorry, but this is about ME and my time and money.If I want to eat and run, I do. If I want to eat and stay I will.UNLESS the restaurant makes their moves to move me... then it's different.So it's not about YOU. It's about me because I got there first. You don't like that. I understand. Sorry. You lost.

"It's not about you. It's about me because I got there first. You don't like that. I understand. Sorry. You lost". Wow, hey guess what? It's not a competition, just because you spend a lot of money on dinner does not give you any special privileges. In fact, the whole idea of fine dining is to display your better self to the public, not be a giant bowel movement. There is zero difference between this clown and the homeless guy in the corner booth at MacDonald's. I take that back, many MacDonald's toss out homeless people after their meal is finished. That single post underlines everything that is wrong with the new-white & wealthy of the United States. The complete lack of shame or humility. The idea that he has won some kind of victory by keeping other diners from "His" table. You can see the roots of all that is wrong in this one post. He pops up a few more times in the comments defending himself.

It is yet another sad state of affairs.